MOLD

Shed the shame like dead skin Different name, same sin Mask tight, loose lip Loose grip, control slip Come to the precipice with me Feel the wind slashing at your face The blood rushing to your feet Lean in Stare into the depths Don't blink

I don't collapse under weight Not what you expected Mask too tight to slip No I'll hold Until the veins pop on my neck My teeth break on themselves Laugh as my lungs constrict Up to my neck in dirt I push Go deeper still The soil breaks under me I fall in Grip loosens Blisters popping Seconds wear the skins of hours As the clocks devour Still I hold Every muscle tearing I let go

Your room has no doors All the windows are barred I bleed over your barbed wire Dragged outside Again Your wound pulses Itching me Scratching it Blood under my fingertips I leap into the crevice To shove my eye in Hope? No, Gone I'm hungry

Your wings clipped More angelic than before I'll drink rivers from your body Ask for oceans when I'm done Foaming at the mouth Crawling to your flames My will is a broken hammer Swallow me Whole

I exist, I must keep reminding myself The staircase is round Endless It only goes down I've lost my footing I'm shrinking And slipping On my knees I find a tiny glimmer of hope— I avoid it Thinking it's poison Mouth watering Stop it It's just Tuesday Tomorrow it will be again Still… a part of me craves Wednesday

They drown on my surface without ever finding the depth You'll lose your way before you run out of rope But first you'll run out of hope This lie isn't big enough for two I know it was real That didn't stop me at the door I shut it behind me Silence No more crying I'll remember loving you As I am erasing you Hold me like a grudge Let me be a villain in your story

A stray Licking my own wounds Pat me Feed me I'll bite Just to see if you bleed Build fences to the ceiling So I can break them As I stare through the peephole All the faces flushed with blood I want to run outside And be them My hand breaks on the handle Every time I try Stay inside Cold Alive I'll go Not today Some day Maybe But not today

I step into an ocean full of sharks Bleeding Drown the lifeguard in the sand Your hands grab my feet From underneath A crown of blood and freckles of snow In your wedding dress I bite into your flesh The tunnel narrows My shell breaks into pieces Thousands of tiny stars jumping on my skin Infinite geometric patterns dance in my eye Flickering The ferryman takes me to the edge of all that is known The source of the wound That pulsating heart Pumping blood I can almost touch it I smell its breath on my skin Almost there A dagger turns in my stomach I think I'll… Puke.

Will you love me when I'm gone? When my words disperse on the wind I'll forget my name And spit on my grave A good little rat Sniffing around in the dirt Eyes bulging, blood coughing Body twitching Dead silence Trees at my wake Crows murdering tits My blood mixed with mud Rotting flesh and the scent of rain Wore only the skins of others Give me no tombstone— The forest won't need my name The mycelia and maggots will care for me

You were so weak and shivering When I first found you All was pink to me In your infancy I can't help but smile Even now You gave me purpose But took everything else I gave you my blood And became an island Gave you my sweat and bones But you are a black hole When I had nothing left You took my soul I believed in you Even when they told me not to I chose you Still do But I hate you And I need you Without you I am nothing Please stay And smile again Like when we met I want to see this illusion To the very end

I was a satellite In your orbit Just a rock Drifting Places with no names Strangers Brothers Our wounds the same My stitches still break Not as much Still too much I hate you I hate myself more Is that you? I think I see you Are you really just… Love?